Wuthering Heights

   I just finished Wuthering Heights. I decided to read it after reading Northanger Abbey. The novel has been on my mind for about a year, ever since one of my teachers assigned the novel as part of group readings. I got Great Expectations instead. I talked to a family friend about it, and I found out that she's in love with Heathcliff. Ha!
  Wuthering Heights, written by Emily Bronte, is about two tempestuous lovers and the chaos their love creates. That's a pretty vague summary, right? Specifically, the novel is about a girl, Catherine, and her foster brother, Heathcliff, who love each other, but are torn apart when Cathy aspires to have a higher social status. Heathcliff loves Cathy passionately, but his passion is turn into wrath when she "rejects" him for Edgar Linton.
  It's a cool book. Loads of Gothic imagery and pure "sexual evil" from Heathcliff. But I have to say, everyone in the book is just amazingly miserable. I'd probably want to kill myself if I was stuck in this book. Just saying.Going back to my awesome friend who is in love with Heathcliff, I don't think I would love him. In fact I would be too scared to love him. I'm glad he found his equal in Catherine, but for the refined and shy Isabella, Heathcliff is way too much. And maybe too much for the readers. Just saying.
  Still, I loved the novel. And I love the conflict Heathcliff brings. Is he the romantic hero everybody dreams about or the vindictive villain? And Ralph Fiennes's Heathcliff makes this so much harder to decide. Gosh darn it Ralph, but you're hot. So, which one?

Miss Austen

 

image from Mastepiece's Northanger Abbey (amazon.com)

Since it is Valentine's Day, I have to reveal something that has been on my mind for a week. I've become a Jane Austen film adaptation fan! That is, I have watched all the adaptations for all her novels in the span of a week. I am also trying my best to read her novels. I have started on Northanger Abbey, because sadly it is the only Jane Austen novel I could I find in the house. So far, it has been a wonderful and witty book. If only I did not need to study for exams!

Recent Watches

It's the end of the year and instead of doing a list on my top 10 films of the year or any top ten of anything of 2009, I will just list the movies I have watched this past couple of weeks and review them as well. Review as in putting a smiley face next to my favorite ones from 2009. (I'm feeling lazy)

Casablanca
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Nine
The Princess and the Frog :)
Avatar
500 Days of Summer
District 9 :)
The Hangover
Dangerous Liaisons
Married to the Mob
Star Trek :)

I've seen a few of these before but I felt so compelled to rewatch them. Married to the Mob, though ridiculous, is pretty hilarious. It's strange how Michelle Pfeiffer starred in both Married to the Mob and Dangerous Liaisons in the same year.

2009 had a few amazing films, but overall it was an okay year. I used to be part of the Avatar hoopla, in fact I dragged my friends to watch the Avatar preview and waited two hours in line for a 15 minute show. After I watched the actual movie, I had two thoughts about the film, 1. the effects were amazings and 2. the story was too cliched. The reviews I read for the film were glowing, except most of them focused on the effects and how this was going to change cinema. I heard that before.

Being John Malkovich

Malkovich, malkovich malkovich. It's Halloween, and I need a cop out costume. So, of course, I'm going as one of the Malkoviches John Malkovich sees when he is in his mind. Confusing yes? Well, then watch this scene from Being John Malkovich when John Malkovich sees the Malkoviches inside his head.

Binary Sunset

I found this image from NASA's website (link) when I googled Binary Sunset. When I was googling Binary Sunset, I was going through a college fueled mental breakdown. I have a choice. Between the UC system, NYU, and USC. I am not even going to mention Loyola Marymount University because my family has no clue what that is. I am not even trying to enlighten them about it. So, as I was having a panic attack (this happens only when I have a deadline) I turned to John. John Williams. And listened to the entire Star Wars soundtrack to the chagrin of my neighbors (probably) and to the delight of my childhood desire that I would get into USC's film program. I have been fostering a desire to go to USC since I was fourteen. That was when I discovered The Usual Suspects and began to believe in Bryan Singer. That dream really is a "childhood" dream because I held on to it for so long. And besides, four years does change a person a lot. I grew up but some things did stay the same. Fortunately.

I am so glad I moved on from the lame analysis that Bryan Singer does with the "alienation" theme and have grown attached to Charlie Kaufman's style. But that doesn't mean I won't analyze something that is pretty obvious. At this moment in my life, I am going through what Luke went through. I am on Tatooine looking at the two setting suns. I am about to go on this amazing journey and I have no idea where it will lead me. Yeah, cliched. Whatever. All I know is that tuition will be a hem hem- a problem. Not a big problem, but still an annoying problem.

I need Yoda. And cash.

Rouge and Chanel

Lately I have been obsessed with beauty. And because I am addicted to going online, I had to check out all the amazing blogs about beauty and clothes. Lately I wanted to look like Veronica Lake or Lauren Bacall. Or this:



I pulled it from Blogdorf Goodman and am now interested in Gilda. Rita Hayworth (who also has this sultry look) sang the song which was featured twice in the film. I hate it when I go through these beauty phases. Just a few hours ago I was trying on all my red lipstick from a bright "pepper" color to a more darker burgundy. So far I am digging the burgundy look. It makes me look like I just (perfectly) smeared my lips with blood.

Eva Green owns the vamp look. She has the perfect pale skin, black hair, and the loveliest eyes. I however am cursed with a California tan and highlights in my hair. I should not go outside so often now! At least not without protection for my legs. I am glad it is not summer yet. I can still wear pants and dark leggings. My legs are healing very quickly so maybe in two weeks time I will be able to wear this:

Hmm.

The Best Brain Fart

Last night, I had this amazing brain fart. It was truly a great event. I was on my bed, reading Mrs. Dalloway and thinking about a narcissistic girl when suddenly... I realized what I had to do to a story I had been developing for a few months. Fantastic! I was reminded of a war documentary and suddenly everything clicked. Going back to my last post, where I said being in the middle of a war zone has a much more alive feeling, I realized what really pushed the character. Ah love this moments!

Watching Post Modern Prometheus just reawakened my love for X-files. I saw I Want To Believe and thought it was an okay film. I expected aliens and monsters and got religion instead. Today, I finished watching an episode and it was pretty funny and campy. That particular episode was a real departure from the original setting and tone, but it still proves how awesome Chris Carter is.

Daffodil Bulbs

Today after I was done with all my work, I decided to go and plant daffodil bulbs. It was a lot of fun and it turned out that I did not have enough space to plant all the bulbs. Though it will probably take another year before I start seeing yellow and white again, the leaves are beautiful and as of right now, they don't really look like anything. It's buried in dirt.

I realized that I am addicted to the Pan's Labyrinth Soundtrack. I recently bought a few songs from The Clash, but I haven't really been listening that much to them. Instead, I have been listening to all those sad lullabies. I think I'm a sucker for sad dramatic music. Give me something tense and haunting and I'll buy it right away. John Tavener did it and I bought it. I bought this a year ago and I still love it. What really makes a movie memorable, aside from a great script and great acting, is the music. Usually great movies have great atmospheric music which adds to the emotional value of the scene. Children of Men is an amazing road journey. John Tavener's music is an integral part of it. Without the haunting religious music, the sense of emptiness and despair lessens. I don't think I'll ever be a composer but I sure love listening to the music!

Speculative Searchers

It took me a very long time to figure this out- why the fuck am I not writing? After planning and outlining, when it comes to write, I basically have nothing. I think I have some innate laziness which causes me to nap all the time. So now, I am going to write. Because I need to. I haven't in probably four months. WELL, I haven't completed anything since those four months ago. Bleh. That old gramps and brat script somehow got lost in the pile of old notebooks. I haven't really figured out how to get the old grandpa and the brat alone together to bond. I drove the family out with some competition for the sister, had the grandpa situated near the family so the boy can spend his weekends with him, and had the grandpa in the house where the boy lives. I need those two to bond without some annoying child or meddlesome parent. :(

I also realize that I hate where my life is going at the moment. I think I am experiencing with Kafka was feeling when he wrote The Metamorphosis. I hate being able to relate to books. Especially sad, depressing ones. I am going to read Harry Potter again and be able to relate to Harry again. His life has been one major battle after the other, but he manages to be happy. I don't know how he does it, but I sure would love that optimism and determination.

Never Let Them Go

I recently was watching something with my parents and something really struck me "Will I be as good of a parent as they are?" Quite the strange question to ask oneself especially if that oneself happened to still be called a kid. We were watching a muckracking television show about the deplorable state and neglect children, especially orphans, and the mature decisions they have to make because of their heavy responsibilities. But underneath the Schindler's List-esque music and the cries, is just a story about the loss the innocence. This show instantly reminded me of a movie I watched a year ago about the effects of war on children. That movie happened to be Grave of the Fireflies. Though I often remain stony faced when I see war, watching the small child hallucinate really got to me. That small child and her older brother were just like the characters in the show, except this time, an older female orphan caring for her younger "brother." These children have to face the cruelty of adults, the fear of losing each other, and also the fear of starvation.

I asked my mother how some adults could be exceptionally cruel to children that are not their own. She told me that some parents feel resentment towards their own children and instead love their pets even more. Fortunately my family doesn't have pets. I felt quite glad and humbled by the amount of care and love they have given me. It also made me feel guilty for all the shit they had to put up with. Teen angst sucks for everyone.

I feel bad now because I am going to introduce more pop culture into this post. Harry Potter and Pan's Labyrinth. My friends say I am obsessed with these two stories. I just think they work on so many levels. In Harry Potter, Harry is infuriated by the way his mentor abandons his wife and child to help Harry. Harry says that parents should never abandon their children. It is even sadder when both the mother and father leave their newborn to fight against the evil wrong doer. In the midst of a battle, they are killed and this child is left parent-less, just like Harry. In Pan's Labyrinth, Ofelia escapes to the dream world while her mother battles an uncooperative fetus and her stepfather cruelly kills every farmer. Her delusion escalates when her mother dies and she begins to rely heavily on the made up faun. When Ofelia is wounded, Mercedes, her surrogate mother, watches in despair knowing she cannot help the little girl.

Am I going to be a good parent? I don't know. All I know is that when I will have children, I will try my best to protect them and to nuture them and to let them go when the time is right. But will any "good" parent ever let their child go? I think I will never be able to let my children go.

Suffering because of apathy

I am currently eating airplane peanuts- the ones air stewardesses hand out as a snack, while drinking somewhat fresh orange juice. All that's missing is the plane. I think I am really am just ready to go anywhere. This perfectly coincides with the fact I will be leaving in August to live somewhere else and before that in June to go to Singapore. I'll probably move to Los Angeles, but I am not ruling out New York or San Diego. However this urge to leave this cozy town of "Pleasantville" is making less attentive and really more lethargic. Today I slept for three hours just for the sake of sleeping. I used to do this a few years back when I felt depressed and over stressed. I fear that it may come back. EURGH, FOUR MORE WEEKS DAMMIT!!! Until I am released from one duty and can finally enjoy more freedom.

I am currently prepping for that "music video." I also wrote a story about the meaning of flowers. It's supposed to be short, cute, and romantic. Perfect for Valentine's day which unfortunately passed by pretty quickly. I don't really like the bouquet of roses most stores have to offer, instead, I prefer flowers that really reflect the mood of the relationship between the two people or something to symbolize the person's personality. I love the meaning behind Edelweiss- daring and noble courage. It is a characteristic my friends and family describe me, but most of all, it's what I try to find in others. I've mostly used my "courage" in dangerous situations but most of the time I'm pretty awkward and daydreaming. Well I guess having to courage to stand up for oneself counts as well, but the idea of going on stage still frightens me. The character in my story, as of right now named Virginia, but it will most likely change, is getting ready for a date. While she gets dressed, puts makeup on and runs through her home, she is reminded of the past and why she hopes her date will surprise her though she is not sure he will be able to. For that, she gets a forsythia as she gets ready.

Geez, maybe I'm a romantic. Strange because I have mostly identified myself as an anti romantic person. Titanic made me fall asleep, Moulin Rouge made me sad because somebody died, and well this! Yeesh, I got to watch Fight Club again.

I really do.

Just Dropped In

The Coen Brothers have always surprised me with their insane movies. One part of the movie The Big Lebowski is always hilarious and surreal- the "Jackie Treehorn production- Gutterballs."

Enough with that.

---

Instead of working on that Narcissus project and that Grandpa story, I decided to try writing a story based on a song. Alfonso Cuaron was inspired by Frank Zappa's "Watermelon in Easter Hay" to write Y Tu Mama Tambien. After listening to Marianne Faithfull's "As Tears Go By" and Andrew Oldman Orchestra "The Last Time" I came out with something less erotic than Mama.