Planning and Plotting

I am not the type of person who can easily manage and organize my day. In fact I rely on my planner to help me study, work, and plan. During the two week period I was in my dorm, I did not have my planner with me, thus ruining my time management skills and effectively bombing a quiz which should have been easy. I also blame my roommates for the latter.

Luckily I found my planner and now I am in the process of planning my ten week schedule. I realized that I have this big fat gaping hole in my schedule which I hope to fill with possibly internships and projects. People usually have resolutions around the 1st, but it's never too late.

What I plan to do:

• Make a film! Or at least get involved with some film projects.
• Internships!
• Perhaps get a job?
• Dress better!
• Get a twitter account*

I am very ambitious, yes? The first three are things I strive to accomplish because I know I can! Besides I then have excuses to not be stuck in my dorm room. As much as I love reading the news, it gets tedious after a while.

Why do I want to dress better? Well, for possibly my entire life I love wearing pajama pants and sweats. This and my penchant for suits has made me feel not feminine. I love Katharine Hepburn's look as well as Zooey Deschanel's so I might as well try doing whatever they're doing instead of just opting for comfort.**

* The twitter account! I don't know why I would want to do this. Maybe I will feel closer to my idols?

** Maybe this will help me get flowers! Haha

Daffodil Bulbs

Today after I was done with all my work, I decided to go and plant daffodil bulbs. It was a lot of fun and it turned out that I did not have enough space to plant all the bulbs. Though it will probably take another year before I start seeing yellow and white again, the leaves are beautiful and as of right now, they don't really look like anything. It's buried in dirt.

I realized that I am addicted to the Pan's Labyrinth Soundtrack. I recently bought a few songs from The Clash, but I haven't really been listening that much to them. Instead, I have been listening to all those sad lullabies. I think I'm a sucker for sad dramatic music. Give me something tense and haunting and I'll buy it right away. John Tavener did it and I bought it. I bought this a year ago and I still love it. What really makes a movie memorable, aside from a great script and great acting, is the music. Usually great movies have great atmospheric music which adds to the emotional value of the scene. Children of Men is an amazing road journey. John Tavener's music is an integral part of it. Without the haunting religious music, the sense of emptiness and despair lessens. I don't think I'll ever be a composer but I sure love listening to the music!

Suffering because of apathy

I am currently eating airplane peanuts- the ones air stewardesses hand out as a snack, while drinking somewhat fresh orange juice. All that's missing is the plane. I think I am really am just ready to go anywhere. This perfectly coincides with the fact I will be leaving in August to live somewhere else and before that in June to go to Singapore. I'll probably move to Los Angeles, but I am not ruling out New York or San Diego. However this urge to leave this cozy town of "Pleasantville" is making less attentive and really more lethargic. Today I slept for three hours just for the sake of sleeping. I used to do this a few years back when I felt depressed and over stressed. I fear that it may come back. EURGH, FOUR MORE WEEKS DAMMIT!!! Until I am released from one duty and can finally enjoy more freedom.

I am currently prepping for that "music video." I also wrote a story about the meaning of flowers. It's supposed to be short, cute, and romantic. Perfect for Valentine's day which unfortunately passed by pretty quickly. I don't really like the bouquet of roses most stores have to offer, instead, I prefer flowers that really reflect the mood of the relationship between the two people or something to symbolize the person's personality. I love the meaning behind Edelweiss- daring and noble courage. It is a characteristic my friends and family describe me, but most of all, it's what I try to find in others. I've mostly used my "courage" in dangerous situations but most of the time I'm pretty awkward and daydreaming. Well I guess having to courage to stand up for oneself counts as well, but the idea of going on stage still frightens me. The character in my story, as of right now named Virginia, but it will most likely change, is getting ready for a date. While she gets dressed, puts makeup on and runs through her home, she is reminded of the past and why she hopes her date will surprise her though she is not sure he will be able to. For that, she gets a forsythia as she gets ready.

Geez, maybe I'm a romantic. Strange because I have mostly identified myself as an anti romantic person. Titanic made me fall asleep, Moulin Rouge made me sad because somebody died, and well this! Yeesh, I got to watch Fight Club again.

I really do.